Love, Loss & Legal Weed
In this Valentine's Day special, Mike reflects candidly on his recent dating misadventures, including one with a gay white supremacist. He also discusses his relationship with cannabis, comparing the market between different states he's visited recently, and shares his thoughts regarding addiction, politics, and the state of the country.
Good afternoon, this is Mike George coming at you live — presumably with some noticeable tape delay. This is a special edition because it's Valentine's Day, and part of what makes it special is that I'm single. Every episode of Open Mike LIVE is special, so I decided to add a caveat today. Caroline, thank you for being the first to chime in. If I ever make money off this thing, Caroline, you get the first $20 because you're usually the first person here and you take the loneliness out of these monologues.
I’ve done a few livestreaming episodes recently, probably in a boiling rage over my ex, his minions, and Jim, but I like to think those matters have been resolved amicably. I've cleared everything with Jared, who has his own issues right now. Speaking of issues, let's talk about being single as an "avenue for improvement" rather than a negative.
One of those avenues is that I haven't smoked any weed today. I’m starting "weed-free Sundays" to curb my routine. Living in Michigan, I’m grateful they legalized it, but $40 for an eighth is ridiculous. In Portland, you can get an ounce for maybe $60 to $80. If you do the math, $40 for an eighth is $320 per ounce. Even with bulk discounts or "smoozing the budtender," it’s still around $220 to $250. So, weed in Michigan is essentially four times more expensive than in Oregon. As an economics guru, I know something is wrong when the same quality costs four times as much in the same country. Michigan’s market is young, and it's hard to compete with "street weed"—or what we’ll call the "legacy supply chain" for political correctness.
I’m lucky to be in Michigan and not Ohio, which is still stuck in the 1900’s regarding weed. If I were to list the top three things that annoy me about Ohio, number one is access to marijuana. I am grateful I can get married in Ohio now, but thanks to the Supreme Court, not the state itself. If it weren't for the Supreme Court, Ohio would be the 50th state to legalize weed or gay marriage. And don't get me started on the lack of transit in Ohio's major cities.
Looking at the comments—Jake, thank you, but I prefer "Mike George," not "Mikey". You have to be my romantic partner or my late father to call me Mikey. Caroline, I’ll check out your YouTube page, but you need a PayPal, not a PO Box, if you want donations. I usually watch boring stuff on YouTube like PBS NewsHour or Westworld. Hi to Lindsay Shaw from Dayton. People love to "shit on" Dayton and Steubenville, but I miss Dayton. We have a beautiful service economy of weed dealers in the shadows there. I also like Dayton's mayor, Nan Whaley, and think she’d be a good Democrat candidate.
As an ex-Republican, I could help Democrats win over free-market conservatives who believe in small government. Anyway, that was a tangent, and I can't even blame it on weed today. You’re getting the "raw, unfiltered truth" of Mike George. People ask if I’m a weed addict, but I distinguish chemical dependency from habits like eating chocolate or sex. I’d consider myself a "mild weed addict" in the same way friends are "beer addicts". I’ve been to "addictions camp"—outpatient programs—and I think a holistic approach is best, where you have alcoholics, meth addicts, and potheads together.
Admitting you love something is half the battle. I love my weed, and while I could smoke less, I don’t think I’m chemically addicted. People try to diagnose me with "bipolar" or "weed addict" just to discredit my opinion, like labeling someone a "Nazi" to invalidate them. But we can't exclude people from discourse, even when confronting white supremacy in 2020. It gets interesting when you end up on a date with a "gay white supremacist" and have to explain why he’s racist. The movement is often just unemployed white people who are pissed for legitimate reasons, like the economy, but they blame immigrants instead of the WTO and trade negotiations with China in the 90s. The idea that immigrants caused the economy to fail is "bullshit," yet we ended up with a president who tried to build a wall and locked children in cages.
Politics is like oxygen; it's everywhere. The word comes from the Greek word for "people," so you can't say it's not the right place to talk politics. It’s behind everything, from Netflix contracts to daily decisions.
Nick in Canada, I’m glad you like these monologues. Canada has great shows like Schitt's Creek, Letterkenny, and Corner Gas. Maybe I’ll do a Facebook Live in French soon, though my French is rough. It often "gets me laid," but I need to improve it to get a job. Americans in Montreal often have trouble finding work due to nationalism—they want to keep "stupid Americans" from invading. We shouldn't let more than a thousand of us over the border a year; it becomes chaos. Mexico knows this with Cancun. I love hearing complaints about Americans ruining things overseas. Thank God for the no-fly list for the Capitol insurrectionists.
Americans ruin things, but we also make things great—or "greater". My old boss said, "Never let perfection be the enemy of good". I say, "Never let greatness be the enemy of goodness". Greatness is an aspiration, but sometimes it’s just a "6-foot-8 jock" beating a "4-foot-9 chick," which isn't great—it's cowardly. A match has to be fair. We love the "David and Goliath" setup. In the Bible, David had a stone—not even a sword. The lesson is that some matches shouldn't take place. It’s like seeing Donald Trump at WrestleMania; he’s never been in a real fight his whole life. Fights that aren't fair aren't entertaining, yet our quality of entertainment has declined to where we don't mind the little guy being "pissed on" by the big guy. President Biden is doing a fabulous job trying to repair those gaps, and I don't buy the criticism because he’s only been there a month and has four years of "shit to clean up".
Nicholas, you're right, the Americans in Montreal are usually cool, but the "spring break" and "Grand Prix" crowds are pricks. I love fast cars, but the "bullshit masculinity" behind auto racing and football is absurd.
Since I'm single this Valentine's Day, I'm being optimistic. I just got out of a "shitty, abusive relationship," so I'm going on a date with myself and all of you. I've had some awful dates lately. One guy from Toledo didn't believe the coronavirus existed; he thought it was a "liberal conspiracy". I made a compelling case that he was full of shit, and he left after 30 minutes. As a "failure analyst," I try to diagnose what I could have done better. I also went on a date with a boy in Cleveland and got "super clingy". I take the blame, but it's hard not to be clingy when you feel like you've lost everything—I was "raped by my ex-boyfriend and evicted by his friends". Dating is a spiritual journey to move on from previous trauma.
I have to go pee now, and I’m not quite stoned enough to do it on camera. Happy Valentine's Day. If you're single, enjoy it; if you're in a relationship, enjoy it. Nothing lasts forever. The challenge is learning how to love someone without "fear of losing them" or getting "unhealthily attached". Take care of yourselves, love each other, and call your mom.
