From Michigan
Reporting from Michigan with his new friend Quincy, Mike shares personal updates and reflections, following his Portland she-bacle, before giving a tour of the city of Neo Hyrule.
Good afternoon, it’s Mike George here. And of course, the music I was playing an hour ago decided to start itself back up just when I didn’t want it to. Welcome to a special Friday edition of the show. I’ve been trying to drag everyone down the Westworld rabbit hole with me lately, but let’s switch to something a bit more festive for a Friday.
So, I’ve officially started the long-term project of growing my hair into a manbun again, and looking at myself on this screen, it’s already a total clusterfuck. I need to give a huge shoutout to the stylist at Great Clips in Monroe, Michigan, for not ruining my hair. Look, I’m gay and I’m finicky, so I usually stick to the $40 stylists, but those mainstream places don’t get enough credit.
Lately, I’ve been putting a lot of job applications out into the universe. I’ve applied for everything from electrical utility work and transit agencies to renewable energy labs. Heck, back in the fall, I was even applying to work at a marijuana dispensary. I have no shame about working blue-collar or service jobs. I actually loved my time working at Disney; it was sugar-coated, easy as fuck, and I basically did my own thing. I’d sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to guests even if it violated some weird policy, and Mickey Mouse never sent me a nasty email about it.
It hasn't all been Disney magic, though. The last 6 months have been the worst end to a summer you can imagine, involving wildfires, a nasty breakup, and an eviction. I’m planning on writing a bittersweet novel about it called What the Fuck Happened. At least I’ve had Quincy here to keep me company. He’s a lovely boy, a bit of a diva, and he absolutely loves it when I sneak bacon into his bowl. He’s getting older and his back leg struggles, but the moment I offer him a treat, he’s up and walking just fine.
Tomorrow, I’m heading out to the sprawling metropolis of Columbus, Ohio. I was wondering if any internet wizards know where the actual geographic center of Ohio is, especially if you include the seabed of Lake Erie. While we’re on the subject of geography, what’s the last thing you looked up on Google Maps? Was it a booty call, a Chinese restaurant, or a non-racist craft store? Personally, I’m the “KAREN” of Google, because I love leaving scathing reviews if a business isn’t doing its job.
Glimpse into Neo Hyrule
Anyway, let's take a look at my city, Neo Hyrule, in Cities: Skylines. We recently had a zoning law change that prohibited high-rises, so I had to bulldoze the skyscrapers, because the church got angry that buildings were taller than them. Now we’re just chilling on the highway, following a guy named Ed Smithson. He’s unemployed and headed home — I feel you, brother. We’re just trying to navigate the traffic congestion and head toward the newly rebranded Termina Field.
