Tour of Neo Hyrule
Mike gives a tour of Neo Hyrule, in the wake of The Great Flood…
Bonjour, this is Mike George coming at you live — well, so we say — at the magical hour of 16:20. I’m your resident efficiency guru, and before we dive into the blueprints, I’m inviting you to virtually join me for a few hits from the gravity bong I built myself. It’s winter here, so we’ve got to get high before the sun goes down, which won’t be long now.
Today, we are taking a trip to Neo Hyrule. For those of you who don’t know the lore, Neo Hyrule is a region developed after the Great Flood of Hylia. Basically, the Great Zora dam burst upstream of everyone — talk about some seriously poor planning — and left us with nothing but the Angry Sea. But as Hylian citizens, we rebuild! Thus I present a vision for Neo Hyrule in the year 2050, centered around Hyrule Castle City and New Hylia.
We’ve got a diverse population: Gerudo ex-pirates settled on the coast, Gorons up in the coal mines, and fairies living in Lake Floria. We’re looking at about 14,000 people in the capital and another 12,000 in Castle Town. To keep them moving, I’ve designed a complex network of highways and bus lines to connect the 'red' inbound workers with the 'green' outbound zones. It’s been a bit of a housing and traffic nightmare, but we’re managing it with a massive rail map.
Now, let's jump into the simulation — if my 10-year-old Dell computer doesn't decide to die on me first. We’re going to track a citizen I’ve named Karen — though it turns out 'Karen' is actually a 44-year-old man named Howard. He’s currently at the mall, probably speaking to the manager of a donut van or something while my slow-as-hell computer chugs along.
Since Karen is taking a lifetime to shop, let’s ditch her and hop on the Zora Express monorail. We’re climbing through the Floria Woods and passing the paper mills. I’m actually quite proud of the rail redesign I did here; I trenched the lines to clear up the congestion near the new Lan Honey cargo station. We’re heading toward the Port of Hebra to see the oil companies before we finally approach the slums near Castle City. It’s a messy, beautiful project, and I’m glad you’re here for the ride!"
