Forbidden
Mike conducts a sound check from the "tree of knowledge" behind the Columbus Metropolitan Library, eating an apple picked up from the street and riffing on the theme of forbidden fruit during his months-long suspension from the public library.
Good afternoon, this is Mike George coming at you live from the Columbus Metropolitan Library Topiary Gardens on this Thursday, 9 July 2026, at around 12:30.
It seems I’ve found the "tree of knowledge" here on the back patio of the library, and it even provided me with an apple to eat. Now, for those of you who read your Bibles, you know what they say about apples in the Garden of Eden: don't eat them, kids, they're bad for you! I didn't see a serpent offering this one, though; I actually found it lying on the street over on Parsons Avenue. Whether the Lord provided it or a serpent was there before me, I couldn't say—maybe I’m the serpent.
It would be fitting, considering I am currently banned from the library. I’ve got a security guard named Hakeem out here keeping a close eye on me to make sure I don't violate the code of conduct of this "open to all" library while I sit under the tree of knowledge and try to keep ants from infesting my "forbidden fruit". It’s a beautiful day, about 20 degrees (68F), and I’ve already taken a bite. So far, no ants have crawled out, and my stomach feels fine—though my dentist would probably hate me. There is a reckoning due for my mouth in a few months, so I’m just hoping a tooth doesn't fall out while I’m eating this.
Actually, this apple is quite good because I think the ants "tenderized" it first. You have to give credit to the ants for softening things up and making the job easier when your teeth suck. It’s funny; I used to be a quiet kid, and now I’ve become a bit loud, so I probably need to watch my voice even if there aren't any kids around.
I think this is a long enough test run to make sure the sound is working for our sound check. It’s about 12:42 here in Columbus, Ohio, and I’m starting to choke on the fruit a little bit, so I’ll leave you with this: don't choke on your lunches, have a good day, and hopefully I’ll be allowed back into this fine library soon. Take care of yourselves and take care of somebody else.
