The Circle
Mike takes a walk around one of America’s largest traffic circles.
Hello, this is Mike George coming at you live on tape from beautiful Alexandria, Louisiana. It is a gorgeous, albeit fucking cold, evening here, so technically we’re into "Facebook After Dark" territory. Now, having lived up north in Montreal, I like to think I’m pretty resilient to this winter weather, but I’m definitely layering up for this midnight stroll.
I’m walking past a military airplane right now, a nice homage to when Alexandria was the proud home of England Air Force Base before it closed back in the 2000s. It’s impressive that the town has kept its economy going with spots like the Procter & Gamble factory and this massive thing I'm approaching — the Masonic Circle. I found out today it’s actually the largest traffic circle in the United States, kept in place because it was built around a protected wetland.
To be honest, it’s more of a rounded-off square than a circle; you have to make these sharp turns four times a lap. I used to treat it like a racetrack back when I had the CLECO company car. Right off the circle, there’s this personal injury lawyer’s office. Those fuckers make a living off the car accidents that happen here constantly, and it’s not hard to see why — I mean, it’s 2023, and I’m still waiting for some goddamn sidewalks!
I’m feeling a bit restless tonight—might have smoked something earlier that prompted this—so I figured I’d take advantage of this quiet Monday night. I just hit a green light, which feels like Divine Providence since I’m usually the only dumbass out here without a car to trip the sensors.
I’ll be real with you all: I’m staying with a friend tonight because I find myself homeless this week. I know there’s a stigma to being 36 and homeless, but I don’t really give a fuck about the judgment anymore. I just keep my famous equation in mind: Happiness equals reality minus expectations. If you tack on too many expectations, you’re just decreasing your happiness per unit.
It’s beautiful out here, so quiet I can hear an electrical substation buzzing in the distance. I’m heading into a residential neighborhood now—"Plantation Acres," hopefully minus the 19th-century history—so I’m going to be quiet and let these fine folks sleep.
This has been Mike George. Take care of yourselves and take care of somebody else. Toodaloo!
