Dead of Night
Mike takes WANDA for a nighttime stroll on a quiet Saturday night, greeting his neighbors before traversing the empty vastness of the Alexandria Mall parking lot. During the walk, he ponders the beauty of silence, the importance of self-honesty, and the value of 360-degree awareness in everyday life.
Hello and good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! This is Mike George coming at you live from Crimson House — or what will soon be, if all goes well, Bottoms Up, because it’s a Saturday night!
I always hate getting those mirror shots of my own behind in the frame; it’s a bit of a faux pas in the biz, you know? Anyway, I’m on a tight schedule. It’s currently 21:40 CDT in the middle of September. Summer is in its last clutches, and fall is right around the corner.
It’s another beautiful evening in Alexandria. This is one of those rare streets where kids can still play outside safely—it’s lovely. Let’s take a look at the weather. It’s probably around 25 degrees; usually, it’s the same temperature, just with different levels of humidity and comfort. People are just milling around enjoying the night, and I’m going to do the same.
I want to show off WANDA II. Longtime viewers will remember WANDA I, which was our prototype — our first attempt. We took the lessons we learned from her to create WANDA II. In theory, this is the new and improved version. She’s definitely the best-sounding one yet and the least beat up. It’s amazing how pretty things look when they aren't banged up by sheer incompetence!
This is Zach and Kayla, my neighbors from across the street.
(Mike greets Zach and Kayla)
They’re wonderful neighbors. Anyway, back to the walk. I’m passing through a pretty ordinary suburban strip mall area. Honestly, I almost don’t want to play music tonight. I’ve gotten so used to having a soundtrack, but sometimes I have to remind myself that silence is its own song.
That reminds me of a hero of mine from high school, Heather Smogor. She had some memorable lines that really stood out as words of wisdom. She’s married now with a different name — doing all that 'jazz' that straight people do.
I’m waiting for the walk light now. I love how Facebook Live tells me my viewers are waiting for me. Damn right they are! It’s called 'antici… … … pation!' Remember Tim Curry in Rocky Horror? I’ll bet $20 the city didn't install a proper walk light here, but I have to say, I'm impressed with how quickly they added that other section of sidewalk.
As much as I complain about car culture, I have to admit I love driving. I’m a hypocrite, and it’s okay to admit that as long as you’re honest with yourself. We’ve all been wrong; the difference is in accepting it.
I’m practicing 360-degree awareness right now. Just because I’m moving forward doesn’t mean things won't come at me from all directions. It’s my non-stoner way of saying 'watch your back.' It’s okay to be a little paranoid or reasonably concerned.
The Alexandria Mall reminds me so much of the Fort Steuben Mall in Steubenville where I grew up. It even has the same sad-looking JCPenney. Hey, at least it’s still open! That’s more than you can say for the flagship Macy’s in Portland. Anyway, it’s quite peaceful out here tonight.
