Fall and Reemergence of Neo Hyrule
Mike chronicles the rise and fall of Neo Hyrule, notably The Great Flood.
Happy Monday, everyone. Take a good look at this—this is a depiction of what remains of Neo Hyrule. Once a magnificent kingdom in my City: Skylines universe, it is now nothing more than a flaming, distant memory. I’ve been really diving into the art of storytelling lately, especially with the 170,000 Hylian citizens I used to manage as their—well, I’d like to think—benevolent leader. But as it turns out, those same citizens decided to exile me from my own kingdom.
This wasn’t just a game to me; it was a passion project. As an environmentalist and a humanitarian, I felt it was my duty to build Neo Hyrule as a sanctuary for Hylian refugees after the original Hyrule was destroyed. But then, everything changed with a mysterious terrorist incident: the great Zora Dam was breached. Someone—maybe Antifa, who knows—bombed that giant barrier, releasing the entire water supply of the kingdom and the underwater city of Zora’s Domain in one go.
The resulting flood was of epic proportions. It didn't just drown people; it washed their spirits away into a giant "cesspool lake of shit" in Old Hyrule that we now call Death Valley. After the waters receded, the trust was gone. We used to have a region-wide maintenance fund—something you don't even see in the real world because nobody likes to maintain anything—but that moral covenant was broken along with the dam.
The kingdom fractured into isolated, untrusting pieces. New Hyrule became a totalitarian state ruled by a self-appointed governor who just happened to be the rich guy who rebuilt the parliament building. The Kokiri fairies retreated into their forest, hiding from the world, while the Gorons—those expert mining "cavemen"—decided to say "fuck you" to everyone else and embargoed our ore supply. This sent energy prices through the roof in Hyrule Castle City, our flagship capital of magicians and politicians.
As the "regional economic overseer"—or as I like to say, the bitch in charge—I tried to fix it. We faced a famine that wiped out 80% of our population, which forced us to build the Lon Lon Ranch and a massive train network to keep people fed. We learned the hard way that when you work together, you can solve anything.
But now, here I am, magically transported to the real world of Columbus, Ohio. I’m essentially in exile from my game until I can get a new computer. So, if you’re in Ohio, come find me—especially for my birthday on 17 March. Until then, stay safe, be splendid, and take care of each other.
