MAX, Mike, & TJ Maxx
Mike takes a walk in downtown Portland, gushing about some of the Queer spaces he’d recently discovered in the city’s east side. He discusses Halloween costumes with his friend Todd before entering a TJ Maxx downtown for a gander.
Well, hello there, it’s Mike George coming to you straight from the heart of downtown Portland, Oregon, on this absolutely gorgeous Friday morning. Just look at this place; people are out, enjoying life, and honestly, just living their best lives. I’m navigating the streets, passing by the food trucks and even my own bank—I didn’t even know there was a branch right here!
Everything is going fantastically. I have to tell you, I hit up a gay bar last night called Crush Bar, and it was something special. I’ve been going to gay bars all the time, but this one was different; I think I finally found my actual group of queer people that I just adore. It’s over on the east side, and frankly, I’m done with that west side bullshit; from now on, I’m hanging out on the east side of Portland.
As I walk, I’m thinking about checking out the police brutality protests because Black Lives Matter, of course, and I want to make sure no one is messing with them.
Oh, and hey Todd! I love you, girl, because you actually participate in these stupid little Facebook lives instead of just sitting back and twiddling your thumbs like everyone else. Todd, why the sad face? You know you have to catch me on Facebook Live After Dark for the "jerking off"; I’m in the middle of downtown right for God's sake!
I just did my fake "Nazi salute"—you know, the "Hey girl, hey girl" wave—and I’m pretty sure a bus driver just saw me and waved back. Todd, why on earth aren't you partying for Halloween this year? Is it because you're scared of the police? I mean, I’m scared of them to a reasonable degree, but let's talk. Even though I hardly ever party for Halloween myself, I just spotted a TJ Maxx, so you and I are going shopping together for some cute costume ideas.
Alright, I’m putting on my TJ Maxx mask — my “TJ Mask” — for the store. Oh my god, look at all these Halloween things in here! I’m just going to look around for now so I don't get tempted to buy things I don't actually want until I really need them. You guys stay safe, take care, and I’ll be back later!
