Blue Skies and McD's

Mike takes a Saturday morning walk to McDonald’s in suburban Portland against a backdrop of a recent job loss, a breakup, and local wildfires.

For the first time in about several weeks, we have blue skies—or well, blueish, blue enough! All things considered, it’s a lovely morning.

It’s the first beautiful morning we've had in Portland in quite a while. Yesterday was actually lovely in its own way because it was raining. I don't personally like rain, but from an environmental and ecological standpoint, we really needed it to keep fires from burning down people's homes. Those rains were very welcome in the Portland and greater Pacific Northwest community.

And here I am bitching about my bad day and my bad several weeks of losing a job and losing a boyfriend and everything. Meanwhile, other people have literally lost their fucking homes. I see people out here in RV trailers trying to escape their homes and the flames—basically the hellscape that has been unfolding in the outskirts of the Portland region. It has been madness. But it’s over now—at least, I think it is. Every time I think it's over, it hasn't been, which is the frustrating part. It feels like being awake in a nightmare and not being able to wake up from it. That's a scary feeling I've never felt before. Praise to the Lord that at 34 years old, he's still coming up with new ways to surprise me.

I'm going to take a little walk with you guys to the busier street so I can play some busier music without disturbing my neighbors. David, if I were still in Montreal with you, we would be eating at Chez Nick. Can you believe Chez Nick has been open since 1920? This is their 100th anniversary! It's amazing that a small business can survive for a hundred years. Meanwhile, all my favorite gay bars, dive bars, and places to smooch with cute boys and ladies have all but disappeared in 2020.

Let me turn my camera around so we can enjoy this lovely suburb apartment complex together. Okay, safety moment: we have a blind corner here. I always like to do safety moments while live-streaming to avoid distractions. Since I don't have a boyfriend to please anymore, this livestream gives me a lot of ways to channel my romantic energy. We are walking out on Scholls Ferry Road now, a lovely little spot where we can listen to some music.

Walk to McDonald's

Onward ho! We're walking to McDonald's, about a 15-minute walk in the lovely suburbs of Portland. Sorry for the shaky camera, I'm trying to stabilize it. Let me get my little smoking purse on. Ah, this is another lovely song playing: Where Is My Mind?. Good morning PDX!

(Mike sings along to various tracks, including John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads")

That was Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver. We are heading down the road to McDonald's right now, so it’s a good time. I have to turn the music down now and act civilian. I don't want anyone calling the crazy cops on me. I'm just trying to have a normal day and order some food."

Inside McDonald’s

Oh god, I need a mask on! I forgot. Okay, attempt one ended in a technicality because I need to remember the goddamn mask. We're breaking the fourth wall today—that's the only rule we're breaking. I don't really need sunglasses inside; I want people to see my eyes and my intentions at McDonald's, which is naturally to get some fucking food. Or maybe smoke with a cute lad or suck his dick if we're lucky, but premise A is definitely food! Good morning Mark from Columbus! You're three hours ahead so you've probably had something better than McDonald's, but I'm on a budget.

Ah, here we go again: a stone absent-minded old man stoner moment. Mask on! Let's try ordering in Spanish on the kiosk kiosk. I've slept with a lot of Spanish-speaking boys, so I feel like I can do this. Let's see: grande, mediano, pequeño. Let's get the pequeño. Oh, wait, it went back to English—no, back to Spanish. I don't need a coffee and the other thing, do I? This is too confusing.

How do I say yes? Where is the 'Sí señor' button? Let me just go back and do this in English. Confirm order... I'll get an iced hazelnut coffee, large, and a sausage McMuffin. Let's round up the change and donate it to charity. Excellent, order 758 is in the queue! Talking to a machine is what we do now, we might as well get used to it.

(Talking to McDonald’s associate)
Thankfully, this fire is over now.

McD’s:
Yeah, that rain was nice yesterday. Did you hear they arrested someone for arson?"

Mike:
Wait, arson? Someone did it on purpose?

McD’s:
Mhm. They arrested him for arson, let him out on bail, and he went and started six more fires.

Mike:
The same guy? Was he a Trump supporter or something?

McD’s:
I don't know. They're saying one of the protesters... an Antifa person.

Mike:
I think it’s a Trump supporter, that's who lives out in those areas. Well, we got to figure out who the fuck that is. Wow, I didn’t realize these fires were intentional. That is scary shit. I've been staying away from the news for my mental clarity, but it's impossible to stay away because the news literally finds you. Anyway, I'm determined to make today great, one day at a time.

(Exits McDonald’s)

Returning from McDonald’s

I love people in Portland because everyone is super chill, and you end up in random, friendly conversations. Oh, a guy is queueing me; my food is ready! The workers at this McDonald's are amazing. Let me get my mask back on.

Thanks so much, appreciate it! Now, I need to play some music... Wait a minute. Oh my god, I left my speaker in the goddamn McDonald's! Let's see if it's still there... Yes, it is. That was our first stoner/old man forgetfulness close call of the day!

Now, let's play some music. I want to talk to you about a business I am starting: Crimson Rouge Studios. It's going to be a 501c3 nonprofit organization with the mission of improving the lives of queer people in Portland and eventually North America. Since I don't have money right now, I'm imploring those who do to think about giving or volunteering. It’s a noble cause—well, I wrote the charter, so of course I think so! I'll be working with CAP (Cascade AIDS Project), which is the Portland equivalent of Equitas Health in Columbus. I'm actually wearing my AIDS Walk shirt right now. Crimson Rouge is a collective of people who simply have nothing but dreams and a vision, but without money, nothing can happen.

To add to my lovely series of debacles—losing my job and my boyfriend—I just got bad news that Jim Bark's dog, Carter, is very sick. Carter is a beautiful, beloved dog, and he has not been well. I’ve spent three weeks crying about all this. Sometimes that vulnerability shows on Facebook Live—which is why, evidently, one of you bitches called the cops on me! But now is the time for healing, forgiveness, and to rebuild. The world still needs saving, but there are a lot of good things left to play with.

Let's play Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo.

And next is Breaking Down by Florence and the Machine.

Oh, that is an intense, heavy song for me personally.

Wait, Facebook just blocked my music because of copyright! We knew that was going to happen. It is a beautiful Saturday morning, 19 September 2020. The birds are out, and hopefully, they're not just crows feasting on things that died in the wildfires. But of course, “all birds matter,” as they like to remind me on the internet. Hashtag it, learn about it with your kids! This has been Mike George coming at you live from the beautiful blue skies of Portland, Oregon.