Reboot

Mike tests his new laptop while relaxing on the patio of the Columbus Metropolitan Library. This device replaces Mike’s Chromebook laptop, which was stolen from next to him overnight at Camp Shameless.

Well hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. This is Mike George coming at you live on this Thursday evening, 7 August 2025, at about 19:48 EDT. I’m coming at you live from just the back patio of the Columbus Metropolitan Library in downtown Columbus.

One large and happy news item I have to report is that I am reporting to you via my brand new laptop, which I finally managed to replace a year after having my previous one stolen. Just for future reference, stolen laptops take about a year to replace when you’re living on virtually zero income. I’ve got to get used to this new interface; hopefully, you guys can hear me. From what I understand, the microphone and general audio layout of this laptop are wonderful, or at least enough for these little gatherings of ours. If you’re having trouble hearing me, now would be a good time to let me know in the comments."

Mama’s got to get used to all the bells and whistles of the new Cadillac here. Since it feels like a while since I’ve done a positive, uplifting entry, I decided to bring along the bong to ensure we have a lovely little chat —none of those deep dark hellholes of inward self-reflection today.

This smoke comes to you courtesy of a Smart Water bottle that makes a wonderful recycled bong; it's one of my personal favorites alongside Aquafina bottles. One might argue I’m using heavier plastic and hurting the Earth, but I counteract that by repurposing and recycling it for the purpose of this gravity bong. Since I still don’t drive a car every day, I think I can smoke out of at least 100 more of these before I get anywhere close to some of your carbon footprints.

I have at least one viewer — hopefully not HR or the Sheriff’s Department watching. Would it surprise you to know I had a recent brush-in with the Franklin County Sheriff’s Office? More on that at 8:00! I wish I had this pre-scripted, but I don't have any production assistants at my disposal.

Looking around for security or nefarious librarians now… Don’t do drugs, kids — only the ones the Lord provideth. I can’t tell the output quality until I narcissistically listen to myself back on tape, so do me a favor and give a thumbs-up if you can hear this gobbledygook.

Oh… I’m having an internet connection issue again; it’s 2025 and we haven’t figured out high-speed internet or Facebook Live streams yet.

Smoke Tracker App

I want to show you one of my little apps since I have two working devices that haven't been stolen. You're going to see how horribly cracked this screen is. I have a Smoke Tracker app, which is available for free. It has a menu of different substances, and each time I imbibe, I just press a button. I just smoked a bowl of marijuana, so I press the big green leaf, and that checkmark indicates a ‘toke’ occurrence.

All these occurrences get logged so Mama can keep track of how many times she smokes per day. Looking at my log, it keeps track of the times, dates, and even the locations of every single thing I’ve smoked. It shows bar graphs with worrisome or non-worrisome trends in smoking habits. It’s what I use to keep a little bit accountable when I grab that bong."

I’m going to keep this post short and sweet; this was mostly a testing of this Chrome Chromebook. It’s a wonderful little beast, and I thank the folks who made it possible for me to have this laptop.

Anyway, coming at you live from Columbus, Ohio, at 20:00 on Thursday, 7 August 2025. This is Mike George at the Columbus Metropolitan Library. Wherever you find yourself on this hopefully wonderful evening, make sure to take care of yourselves and take care of somebody else.