Faceoff w/ Parking Garage KAREN
Mike encounters Parking Garage KAREN in his penthouse loft.
Hello, and welcome to a special edition of Open Mike LIVE… After Dark!
I’ve had the exciting opportunity tonight to confront my worst feared enemy, Parking Garage KAREN. We are scheduled to go see her right now, actually. We made a deal to let me live if I bring her on camera for a chat...
I think I hear her coming, maybe that was the elevator with her in it! So stay tuned, y’all, because Parking Garage KAREN is coming soon!
Mike George here, bringing you a riveting conclusion to my latest Open Mike LIVE series, taking place right here in my penthouse loft. Just trying to save my home from being evicted by Parking Garage KAREN… don't mind me!
-
We’ve revealed the secret identity of Parking Garage KAREN… it's me!
I’ve been residing in this fabulous penthouse loft here.
Oh God, let me not actually get another Parking Garage Karen after me now! I’m doing a little reconnaissance; I see somebody coming in. It might be the real Parking Garage KAREN… she's taking the valet parking! This parking garage actually has a valet parking service, and that is pretty much the only staff that seems to give a fuck about this space.
Tada! I’m Parking Garage KAREN! I know some of you guys might be a little disappointed - maybe you were expecting a real face-off here. But unfortunately, given the budget of my Open Mike LIVE series — I can't even get a twink production assistant, and you expect me to procure a formidable bad guy? Nope, I’m sorry, the moneymen said no… So, in the absence of even just a twink production assistant, would any of you be surprised that Parking Garage KAREN has been me this entire time?! Sorry, kids.
But the advantage of playing both the hero and the villain is, first of all, cost! And second, for me personally, it seems this dwelling of mine is pretty solid as far as safety and security goes, and my anxiety is at ease about occupying this space and possibly causing a stir.
So, yes, coming at you live from Columbus, Ohio, from my beautiful penthouse loft, this is Mike George, also Parking Garage KAREN… Hello!
Now, if we are going to be technically correct here, Parking Garage KAREN is actually played by “Miranda.” Some of you, thank God, have not had the pleasure of meeting Miranda. She keeps her cards pretty held tight to her bosom.
Nonetheless, sorry if you were expecting anything more exciting than this, if you were expecting a real Parking Garage KAREN…
Well… guilty as charged. I guess somebody is going to have to call the cops on me, and then they’ll get to replace me as Parking Garage KAREN. But as somebody who has had to call the cops many times in the past, I already know that the cops are going to take at least 15-20 minutes to show up, if they show up at all…
Now that we’ve reached the end of the heroic battle between Mike and Parking Garage KAREN, I guess we’ll use this opportunity to ask you for more money! You know how they do in those PBS series. If you like what you saw, or if you didn't, you are encouraged to donate money.
I’ll wrap up this special broadcast with this beautiful view. Man, I love this! This is a million-dollar view, y’all, that I’m reaping for $0 a month so far!
It is about 4:35 am EST on 30 December 2024, starting us off with the confrontation and the defeat of Parking Garage KAREN — at least, the KAREN that we know about. Now remember, as I often remind viewers on previous shows, there is always Black KAREN lurking around. So just because we've defeated one of the Karen’s doesn't mean we’ve heard the last of Karen... I gotta be careful saying her name out loud in the darkness here!
Anyways, this has been Mike George coming at you fresh off the successful vanquish of Parking Garage KAREN. As we start the last Monday of 2024, may you guys find the courage and the gumption to take on your own Parking Garage Karen and dare I say, defeat her once and for all… So that coming into 2025, there are no Karens to worry about…
Coming at you live from Columbus, this has been Mike George. Take care of yourselves, and take care of somebody else — even if it’s Parking Garage Karen!
