To My Fellow Pedestrians

Mike brings to light the cultural and social implications of car dependency, expressing admiration for those who navigate on foot, especially in areas hostile to pedestrians. Positing a clear correlation between a city's walkability index and the physical fitness of its population, he applies his academic rigor to coin a "coefficient of curvature" for characterizing one's arse. Calling out the classism often waged against non-drivers, Mike notes how the car-centric infrastructure in many suburbs makes walking in America a radical act of commitment and endurance.

One of the biggest annoyances of living here is the car dependency. I don’t have my own vehicle yet, and it’s amazing the classist assumptions people make—they see you don't have a car and assume you're poor or don't have your shit together. I actually admire the people I see braving six-lane boulevards on foot.

In fact, I’m convinced there’s a scientific correlation between a city’s walkability index and the quality of the general "rump" in the population. If you’re walking instead of "scooting and tooting" your ass around in a car, you’re going to have a firmer coefficient of curvature. My own is currently a 50/50 mix of gym-firm and "fried food jiggly".