Conservatively Speaking
Mike explains his conservative political views, reframing it with the intent of restraining government and/or curbing societal excesses - e.g. conserving natural resources, regulating fossil fuel consumption and carbon emissions, curbing executive overreach, protecting freedom and individual liberties, etc. He likens our persisting depletion of resources to the consumption of frozen beverages in that it occurs in abrupt stages, rather than a linear decrease in supply.
Good morning, it’s Mike George coming at you from Alexandria on a beautiful Friday morning in 2022. I’d love to tell you I have some big, polished production ready for you, but there’s a certain magic in just having a small window into one another’s real lives, seeing the unpolished, unvarnished "me".
Actually, ‘mama’ is already getting a little angry, because her performance is being compromised by this awful, shitty Bluetooth setup. You’d think by now we would have mastered basic audio, especially since I have an electrical engineering background — a Master’s degree, actually — but here I am, fucking around with technology while trying to be "on point" as a performer. Honestly, these instances are how I know the robots won’t be taking over anytime soon; the moment they try, shit like this will inevitably happen and wreak havoc on any sort of takeover attempt. Since we’ve already "poisoned the well" with technical glitches, let’s just move on.
Happy Easter, y'all! It’s Easter weekend, and I’ll be honest — I almost totally forgot. I don’t even know if I gave my crew Monday off yet; I really need to get on top of my shit. But before we get too far, I want to dedicate a song to the Steubenville High School choir. If you’ve ever sung that Old Irish Blessing, you know the chills it brings. It’s pure alumni nostalgia, right up until the Bluetooth audio decides to fuck up at the most critical, delicate moment in the song…
You have to forgive me for the production value. I don’t have the luxury of employing a staff of underpaid twinks, editors, or PR assistants; it’s literally just me holding a phone! If you have questions about the "taste" of this production, I invite you to join me and help make it better, instead of just complaining on the internet. Humans just love to complain, don't they? If you just zoom yourself out and step back for a minute — let me check if my fly is closed first — you see it.
I know I give off the impression of being "gay and liberal and happy," and I miss those days, but I still identify as a conservative. To me, being conservative means conserving. Let’s use that as the basis. I like conserving my planet — the air, the water, the oil. How did arguing to save the things we literally depend on daily become a "liberal" thing?
Think of our oil resources like a Tim Hortons frozen Frappuccino. It’s a hot day, and you’re slurping it down. At first, you get the "sweet pickings" — that raw sweet cream that didn't get stirred in all the way. It’s delicious… But eventually, the cream runs out and you’re left with melting ice. You wait 10 minutes for a little more water to melt, drink it, and tell yourself, "There will always be more," even while the overall amount of Frappuccino in the cup (whether melted or still frozen) continues to be depleted.
Anyway, enough filibustering the internet. I’m wearing red today — Big Red for Steubenville, but also red for luck and fortune in Chinese culture. I’m a bad Asian" - honey, I barely know my own traditions, but I love this hat and bandana combo.
It’s a marvelous day, I’m not working, and I’m ready for an adventure. So, do me a favor and get the fuck off your phone, especially if you’re driving! Enjoy the real life around you that the Lord — or whoever you get on your knees for — provideth. Happy Friday, y'all! Take care of yourselves and each other.
