Pressure Cooker
Mike reflects on a difficult and strange day in which he feels on edge, wrestling with friction with his boyfriend and the frustrations of complying with social distancing regulations in the city. Exhausted from long shifts and recent toxicity in his social life, he vents about the mental toll of working in a high-pressure environment in tandem with a strained personal life, while in the throes of a global pandemic.
Good evening, this is Mike George coming at you live from Portland, Oregon. I’m playing some music to start, though I know some of you might not hear it due to copyright. You’ve got to catch these sessions live to get the full vibe!
Honestly, guys, today has been such an interesting and strange day. I started the morning by being a total jerk to my boyfriend, and when I tried to apologize this evening, it just didn't go well. Lately, I feel like I’ve been on edge, easily enraged, and just at my wits' end with people. It feels like everyone wanted to pick a fight with me today.
For example, I was at Scandals earlier, just trying to have a cigarette. If you've been there, you know it’s like solving a Venn diagram just to figure out where you're allowed to smoke, drink, or socialize while following social distancing rules. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with so many regulations while just trying to exist. I know what needs to be done, but it feels like there's always someone standing in my way.
I’m worried I might actually be losing my boyfriend in this process, and it breaks my heart. Usually, I can diagnose a problem—I’m an engineer, that’s what I do. I identify the issue and I fix it. But right now, I can’t figure out where I went wrong. It feels like the whole country is a pressure cooker right now, and everyone is on edge. I miss the days when I was happy and could just talk to my partner about random, stupid things without it turning into an offense.
We just listened to 'Mess' by Ben Folds, which pretty much sums up the situation. I want to thank Jay Smith and Tim for checking in—Tim, I really appreciated that virtual, socially distant hug. I needed that.
I’ll admit, I’m being a bit dramatic tonight to get some attention for my upcoming events—if the President can manipulate us with tweets, I figure I can use a little Facebook Live drama and some good music\! But in all seriousness, things feel raw and intense. I’ve been dealing with a lot—sleep deprivation, some recent heavy experiences, and even a 'friend' calling the cops on me. It’s a toxic combination.
It’s sad that I feel like I have to reach a breaking point on air just to get people to comment, but I appreciate those of you who are here. It feels like a Zoom therapy session sometimes. I’m going to wrap this up, smoke a bit to relax, and hope to wake up to a more normal Saturday. Something just doesn't feel right in the world lately. Good night, everyone. Sweet dreams.
