Weekend in the Castro

Mike and Matt recount their recent trucking detour through San Francisco caused by a logistical delay at a construction job site, sharing their excursion in the Castro district, enjoying local cuisine, and getting pedicures. Exploring Queer identity, they celebrate the fluidity of personality and the importance of finding moments of joy along the open road.

Good morning, this is Mike George here with Matthew "Equality" Gutierrez. We are on our way toward Modesto, California, driving on I-580, which is one of the “ring roads” around San Francisco.

Matt:
Watch the mirrors, babe. We’ve got someone sneaking up the right lane.

Mike:
We just left South San Francisco, near the airport. It's about 8:00 rush hour, but the traffic isn't too bad since we’re away from the city center.

Matt:
Remember: the left side is the passing side, the right side is suicide. That's a good rule of thumb for trailers.

Mike:
I usually just floor it if I see an open hole in the right lane, but apparently, you can get a ticket for passing on the right in some states.

Matt:
You’ll have to talk to a lawyer about the onus of proper lane procedure; I can’t interpret the law for you!

Mike:
Good morning to Bernie! I’m excited to manifest a proper introduction soon. Matthew talks about you like a fictitious character. Anyway, we had a marvelous—but interesting—day in San Francisco yesterday. It didn't start off "groovy" at all.

Matt:
We were supposed to deliver a load of finished rebar for a storm water drainage project in Pacifica.

Mike:
Water diversion is so important, especially looking at the news about the "Houston Islands" lately. Our prayers go out to them.

Matt:
Stay safe, and stay away from Joel Osteen! His mega-church has room for 20,000 people, so I hope he's donating some of that money. WWJD, right?

Mike:
Back to the story—the site couldn't accept the delivery because it was a small, active job site with no space. We staged in a nearby parking lot, but a manager there got irate and kicked all the trucks off the property.

Matt:
I had to maneuver up some crazy hills. We stopped moving forward at one point because the load was so heavy.

Mike:
We stalled a couple of times on that hill.

Matt:
I did not stall the truck! I stopped moving forward, but it never stalled. That is a crucial correction!

Mike:
Fair enough! Eventually, the delivery was rescheduled for the next day, so we decided to spend the day in San Francisco. We took a Lyft to the BART station and rode the train.

Matt:
Oh my god, that was the loudest rail car ever. It felt like drills in the ears.

Mike:
It was like nails on a chalkboard in those tunnels. Shout out to the Montreal Metro for using rubber tires and providing a comfortable ride. We actually took a Lyft back because the train was migraine-inducing.

Matt:
Once we got to the Castro, we were "uber" hungry. A local suggested a cute Thai place.

Mike:
I got the Pad See Ew, and Matthew got the Pad Thai. It was delicious. Afterward, we went to the HRC storefront. I got a cute necklace in the form of a compass so I can find Matthew on the road.

Matt:
According to Grindr, you're 13 miles away! It’s nice to be in a relationship that didn’t start on an app, though we’ve both had good quality relationships from them before.

Mike:
We stopped at the Twin Peaks bar on the corner of Castro and Market. It's a local landmark—you can see it in the opening credits of Sense8.

Matt:
We sat there and played "Gay Bingo" on Grindr and Scruff. It's fun to browse as a team.

Mike:
Then Matthew took me for my first pedicure. It had a Sex and the City vibe with young professional women chatting.

Matt:
I thought the lady from Tucson was cute.

Mike:
The most stressful part was them trimming my toenails because I bite them. I’m liberated from the toenail-clipper dominant regime of capitalism!

Matt:
Whatever, your feet look great now. Look at those green toenails!

Mike: We also met a local named Patrick and had a great conversation about life and work. For dinner, we went to Flor. I had a $14 Wagyu beef burger — the best burger of my life.

Matt:
I had a flank steak salad. And don’t forget that hot chocolate with the cherry.

Mike:
We split a gluten-free chocolate peanut butter cookie for dessert. I ate every single crumb. We had such a bright spot of a trip, and it was good to be back in the "motherland" where we can be as Queer and romantic as we want.

Matt:
It ties into the topic of Pride. I sometimes go into "bro mode" in this industry around straight colleagues, but I’m never ashamed of who I am.

Mike:
It’s funny how accents and personalities rub off on you. I used to pick up a Southern twang when talking to engineers from Texas over the phone.

Matt:
I even met another Swift driver who is "family." She was fabulous and had a pride flag in her truck. I wrote her a note signing it "The Mo-Flatbetter"—"mo" being short for "homo."

Mike:
The point of Queer liberation is just to act however you feel. If you're super queer one week and super bro the next, just roll with it.

Matt:
Sometimes I’m a Kinsey 6, sometimes a 4. It's not betraying my people.

Mike:
Well, we’re outside of Modesto now, so we’re signing off.

Matt:
I’m getting hot and need a breather. Toodles!